Ride the Lightning

THREE WAY SEX, LIES AND VIDEOTAPE: WISCONSIN BREEDS A CHEESY LAWYER

November 9, 2007

John and I are in Chicago lecturing for the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers. This is a group that knows how to party (bragging rights went to the attorneys who stayed out the latest) and breakfast was a jovial affair at which a lawyer from Wisconsin told us a story so incredible that I had to return to my hotel room to verify that what I heard was true. Lawyers get in trouble all the time, but lawyer Michael Inglimo really went over the top, with one of the more colorful disciplinary proceedings on record.

The electronic evidence in the case was a videotape of Mr. Inglimo having sex with his client’s girlfriend. Being a helpful sort, Mr. Inglimo provided the recording equipment himself. According to the client, the sex was provided to pay off legal fees and the videotape was made as a kind of receipt that there had been “payment in full.” My oh my.

Ah, did I mention that the videotape featured Mr. Inglimo snorting what appeared to be cocaine? Always at the ready with an explanation, Mr. Inglimo thought that the white substance in the video might have been flour or salt. Sure, that makes sense.

Now it wasn’t all colorful – Mr. Inglimo was found to have committed the usual trust account shenanigans. No doubt these appeared just as reasonable to him as performing his duties as a lawyer in court while high on marijuana. This man was serious about his vices. His license was suspended for three years as a result of his misdeeds, which struck this reader as very light punishment indeed. There’s even a hilarious discussion on page 27 of the opinion about what the word “with” means (as in sex with a client). Highly reminiscent of President’s Clinton’s famous “It all depends on what the meaning of "is" is." It is a comic farce well worth a few moments’ reading.

Honestly, no one could make this stuff up. I’m sure some TV writer is happily converting this 49 page opinion into a script. And yes, three way sex (as referenced in the title of this blog entry) was also a part of Mr. Inglimo’s many transgressions. For the full tabloid quality story, you may find the opinion at http://www.wicourts.gov/sc/opinion/DisplayDocument.pdf?content=pdf&seqNo=30663

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