Ride the Lightning

Robots Talk to Telemarketers So You Don’t Have To!

January 9, 2018

Since we started the week on a comical note, why not continue? Thank to Dave Ries for this one.

I don't care whether you get called on a landline or smartphone – we all hate telemarketers. I generally simply hang up on them. But they are a constant disturbance and aggravation. I want revenge for these intrusions on my day.

So along comes a company with the improbable name of "Jolly Roger Telephone Company." Its tagline is the title of this blog post. How does it work? You buy a subscription, giving the company your phone numbers and e-mail address. You actually pick a robot you like from the company's "Pick a Robot" page. Record the robot's phone number. Then, when you receive a telemarketing call, you transfer it to the robot. After the robot is done talking to the telemarketer, it will send a copy to your e-mail so you have a good laugh.

The robot understands speech patterns and inflections and works to keep the caller engaged. Subscribers can choose robot personalities, such as Whiskey Jack, who is frequently distracted by a game he is watching on television, or Salty Sally, a frazzled mother. I can relate to that.

The robots string the callers along with vocal fillers like "Uh-huh" and "O.K., O.K." After several minutes, some will ask the callers to repeat their sales pitch from the beginning, prompting the telemarketers to have angry meltdowns, according to sample recordings posted on the company's website. I LOVE the idea making telemarketers have meltdowns. In fact, it's a shame there's no video. 🙂

If robocalls are driving you crazy, here's a great article on how to stop them from The New York Times.

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